Haha, You Suck: May 2008 Archives

Sheh sheh sheh sheh sheh (beat drops like boom psst pop psst boom boom psst pop) Uh huh fiddy sheh sheh sheh sheh OH FUCK MY HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN.  WHERE MAH JUICE AT?

"Chatting with women, taxes, chatting with men"

You'd think it was lead poisoning, but that'd be the least of your worries if you happen to bein one of this while chirpin' at some bitches hoes skanks young women at 40mph.

Yuck yuck yuck, those crazy Jackassers are at it again but this time with a CELEBRITY (alleged) RAPIST!  Check the fake digitalness of this corporate Nike "stunt" below.  Yawn.  Forced viral videos SO jumped the shark back when Lonelygirl was a youtube icon, and I didn't even think she was good looking.

For those not in the "know," Fark.com is a site I go to everyday.  Some of the posts on this site come from links they find.  Think of it as a real life version of The Onion.  They make their own headlines and link to ridiculous content.

So it's already humiliating enough to get your head chopped off by a stolen stop sign in the back of pickup truck.  Some fratboy doosh bag will definitely pay for doing something so blatantly mindless, but does your girlfriend have to be the spokesperson to the press?  Oh wait, this happened in Santa Fe, NM... the state with the WORST public schools.

The tasteless humor continues when watching the video of the report which is prefaced by a streaming ad from Ford Motors.  Gotta love keyword based advertising.

Step 1: Be a man
Step 2: Wish you were a woman
Step 3: Smoke a ton of meth
Step 4: Put on the following clothes


Step 5: Go to a casino
Step 6: Get denied at the door for being inappropriately dressed
Step 7: Sue for 15,000 dollars
It happened

listen at 1:34 for the shift from human, to pirate.

NO

I saw this on myspace today. Apparently it's Kimmy Gibbler (auxillary friend charater to D.J. Tanner on ABC's once loved Full House) getting punted in the face by a llama with wings and what look like dildos for legs. I want this on a hoodie.

click to enlarge

Apparently the llama is saying "pwned" a term I wish I werent familiar with as it denotes my ugly past with video games. Here's one definition but there seems to be a brooding war over the origin of the word.

PWNED: A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned."
Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned."
It basically means "to own" or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.
"Man, I rock at my job, but I still got a bad evaluation. I was pwned."
OR
"That team totally pwned us."

A reporter from the Telegraph in London had a giant magnet put on his head and pumped up to to 1.2 Jiggawatts which turned off the part of his brain that handles speech.  Awesome, or stupid?

This is incredible... Absolutely incredible. You know that bulletin boards at your local guitar shop where band members or artists look for other people to start a new band with? (Ended a sentence with a preposition) Well this guy decided to post a video tape. Here are its contents. Genius.

www.therawker.com

Well they don't hate them, they just have no idea how to eat them.  My favorite quote:

"In tea?" she asks. (Dipping biscuits - we Brits call all cookies "biscuits' - in a steaming hot cup of tea is an almost sacred ritual
here.)

"No, in milk," I reply.
"Milk?! A biscuit dipped in milk? Who does that?"

Check it over at ABC NEWS