May 2008 Archives

You'd think it was lead poisoning, but that'd be the least of your worries if you happen to bein one of this while chirpin' at some bitches hoes skanks young women at 40mph.

Ok so it's not actually out yet, or developed for that matter, BUT....  Apple just filed a patent for iPods covered in solar panels.  I don't know if there's a way solar panels could completely power the unit, but think of how long the battery will last!  Cool as fuck.

Yuck yuck yuck, those crazy Jackassers are at it again but this time with a CELEBRITY (alleged) RAPIST!  Check the fake digitalness of this corporate Nike "stunt" below.  Yawn.  Forced viral videos SO jumped the shark back when Lonelygirl was a youtube icon, and I didn't even think she was good looking.

From Gizmodo, what a great way to fuck with your friends.   I can think of 100s of hilarious places for these.  Sadly I think they're quite pricey since they're made to order from Thelermont Hupton.
 

Misanthropy Pure is shaping to be one of the best hardcore records released in a long LONG time.  New vocalist Matt Ian Mazzali is a juiced up version of Jamey Jasta, with a scream thats mildly melodic and epic as all hell.  How he manages to wail over ever single stuttering pnumatic riff is beyond me.  The album's title track is easily the most accessible track on the album and I mean that in a good way.  While so much heavy music is mindless chugging these days, Shai Hulud seem to switch up time signatures and styles (mind you I mean styles within the genre) so easily it's scary.  Add in the catchy soaring guitar melodies and you have an anthemic barn burner of an album.  Check out the simple yet powerful video below.  Directed by the one and only David Broadsky. 

For those not in the "know," Fark.com is a site I go to everyday.  Some of the posts on this site come from links they find.  Think of it as a real life version of The Onion.  They make their own headlines and link to ridiculous content.

So it's already humiliating enough to get your head chopped off by a stolen stop sign in the back of pickup truck.  Some fratboy doosh bag will definitely pay for doing something so blatantly mindless, but does your girlfriend have to be the spokesperson to the press?  Oh wait, this happened in Santa Fe, NM... the state with the WORST public schools.

The tasteless humor continues when watching the video of the report which is prefaced by a streaming ad from Ford Motors.  Gotta love keyword based advertising.

How fucking humiliating.  Poor guy, looks like my life accessory got some accessories.  Blame my girlfriend.  Well we'll just make sure he doesn't try and go to any casinos.  Gee thanks, now he'll just lick his balls even more.  Nothing like doggie cock breath.  I said it

Step 1: Be a man
Step 2: Wish you were a woman
Step 3: Smoke a ton of meth
Step 4: Put on the following clothes


Step 5: Go to a casino
Step 6: Get denied at the door for being inappropriately dressed
Step 7: Sue for 15,000 dollars
It happened

You know what I want to do?  Stuff my dead dog's ashes into a box complete with 7" screen and USB connection. 



From the products manufacturer:

Display all of your favorite pet photographs with the latest in digital memorial technology. Available in Oak or Walnut wood, these photo urns represent a new generation in memorial design and capability.

With a 7" diagonal screen you can display literally hundreds of your favorite pet and/or human memories. Each digital frame includes a battery operated remote control, a large 256 megabyte internal memory, power supply cord, and USB computer cord for transferring photo's or audio files from your personal computer to the internal memory.

This urn has two compartments which you access from the removable bottom. The 1st compartment holds the digital frame while the 2nd has 95 cubic inches of space inside, accomodating pets from 0-75 lbs.

While surfing Gizmodo, I stumbled across an amazing piece (albeit a marketing ploy for DHL) where artist Erik Nordenankar mailed a package containing a GPS device around the world.  The tracking data of said GPS formed the following self-portrait.  Check the youtube below for more info.

• Nation's Poorest 1% Now Controls Two-Thirds Of U.S. Soda Can Wealth
• Pac-Man movie in development. No, seriously
• Are you a New Yorker that wishes Beer could be delivered to your apartment?  Me too.  Check out wakozi.com
• 7 Completely Unnecesary Jet Engine Powered Vehicles
• Man's Vomit Poisons 54 People
• NASCAR 101: How to Mullet Hunt and Survive
• Woman sat dead in front of TV for 42 years

listen at 1:34 for the shift from human, to pirate.

NO

By far one of the best videos you probably won't see on TV any time soon, Justice's new anarchist and troubling video for "Stress" nails it.  This is one of the few times (save most Chemical Brothers videos) where a video for a dance act actually works.

I've been jamming the Futureheads all night.  Here's the video for "Decent Days And Nights" off their first album.  Gotta love the harmonies.

Oh boy did I love the first Futureheads record.  It ripped my face off.  First Day, Robot, A To B.  Those tracks were AMAZING!  The second album didn't do it for me, but this third self-released album seems to bridge the psycho Jam infused rock jams with the pop-single songwriter of News & Tributes.  Stream it below.

0:56 Seconds changed my life

"Now I like stuff that gets me hyped up so i listen to Jock Jams."

Cracked.com has unearthed what they believe to be the top 9 insults.  I'd like to add a #10: "You have a blog."  

Fuck yeah.  Do you remember the shitty SNES version that had NO BLOOD?  What the fuck is that all about...  My favorite was Sub-Zero.  No one like Sonya, who wants to be a girl in a fighting game? 

I saw this on myspace today. Apparently it's Kimmy Gibbler (auxillary friend charater to D.J. Tanner on ABC's once loved Full House) getting punted in the face by a llama with wings and what look like dildos for legs. I want this on a hoodie.

click to enlarge

Apparently the llama is saying "pwned" a term I wish I werent familiar with as it denotes my ugly past with video games. Here's one definition but there seems to be a brooding war over the origin of the word.

PWNED: A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned."
Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned."
It basically means "to own" or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.
"Man, I rock at my job, but I still got a bad evaluation. I was pwned."
OR
"That team totally pwned us."

OH FUCK.  This song will rip your face off.  This band takes a lot of heat in the metal world simply because lots of their fans are young high school teens.  Lead singer Mitch Lucker is a fucking terror.  He's one of my favorite frontmen out there right now.  See him in all of his neck tatted glory.  COOOOOOKIE MONSTERRRRRR

I really dug Ratatat's first album.  Wasn't so sure about the second.  And now with their new tracks leaking out (see link below), I'm not so sure about this new one.  What's up with the autoharp?  It's a bit loud in the mix no?  Whatever.  You be the judge.  Click the link below the photo.

Saw this on Digg under the title "Best Costume Ever"

A reporter from the Telegraph in London had a giant magnet put on his head and pumped up to to 1.2 Jiggawatts which turned off the part of his brain that handles speech.  Awesome, or stupid?

This is incredible... Absolutely incredible. You know that bulletin boards at your local guitar shop where band members or artists look for other people to start a new band with? (Ended a sentence with a preposition) Well this guy decided to post a video tape. Here are its contents. Genius.

www.therawker.com

Well they don't hate them, they just have no idea how to eat them.  My favorite quote:

"In tea?" she asks. (Dipping biscuits - we Brits call all cookies "biscuits' - in a steaming hot cup of tea is an almost sacred ritual
here.)

"No, in milk," I reply.
"Milk?! A biscuit dipped in milk? Who does that?"

Check it over at ABC NEWS